How can I ever speak, if I can't even tell myself. I am always left with hungry lips, am I afraid to get broken again? Am I afraid of showing what is left??
If eyes are the windows to the soul, why are there blinds?
Where is the sunset we were all promised. I wonder if this is how color blind people see the world.
remain in the silent darkness, but now its like all the reflecting luminance shinning through my window really isn't there.
Where is the sunset we were all promised. I wonder if this is how color blind people see the world.
remain in the silent darkness, but now its like all the reflecting luminance shinning through my window really isn't there.
I was writing you a long note, but then when i hit submit it dissapeared. I was pretty angry.. no not angry I was more upset.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I was dissapointed when you brought up the S word. It really hurt my feelings, because well you are my bestfriend. When I was reading your blog, I just can't help but feel sad cuz I thought your finally trying to make it better. I mean yeah i know you're going through depression or SA.. and all that. But fuck just fight that demon. it's bullshit.
You are a worthy person, and I value your friendship a lot. AT the same time, referring to your entry, your mom is human too. Maybe she didn't read that letter wholeheatedly cuz she doesn't want to be emotional. You're lucky you can talk to your mom about your lovelife. it's so fucking difficult for me to talk to my mom. My mom may be hard headed at times, but she went through shit during her childhood, her chilldhood was fucking hell, whenever i'm upset with her I had to look back at her past, cuz I know that her past is why she's like that.
But she's still LIVING. for god sake. you have no idea, how strong she is. I hope you realize your a worthy person, cuz if you don't.. I really don't know what to do. You really hurt my feelings jamie.
I'm sorry if it's emotional or whatever, but there's a reason why I listen to you, and give you advice, it's becayse I want you to REALIZE that life is fucking precious. Why the fcuk do you think of those things? like seriously! if you ever think of doing it you'll leave a deep cut in my heart. You're my bestfriend, my soul sister, my connection, and everything else. What would happen when my soul sister is gone? You will leave a scar.. and so will your parents and ur sister... that will hurt them bad. sooooo bad. do you want them to feel that way? I know you love them.
I know what it's like cuz i've experienced it already. my grandpa. as much as I love him and respect him I don't know why he did that. I'm dissapointed in him, but I understand him. but he definetely left a scar on my aunt nand to me. It hurts me seeing her go through guilt and regret. but honestly jamie... they're just human aren't they? maybe you can help warm up their heart, and if they resist, they're just being challenged.
I never felt so overwhelmed before. BUT please.. just do this for a favor. learn how to LOVE yourself, and realized what a great person you are.
please don't take this as a bad thing, I'm just saying it because I care.
ReplyDeletedon't do this just for me, do it for your parents who loves you and a sister who is concerned for you, they may hurt you, but they're only human as well. But most importantly do it for you.
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